Monday, November 10, 2008

#514 and #515

Gout is a peculiar disease. As a result of an inherited abnormality, crystals of uric acid, in the form of mono-sodium urate, develop in joints, tendons and surrounding tissues leading to inflammation and severe, if not debilitating, pain. In other words, your parents gave you crappy genes and your body goofs up. You get little, sharp, pointy thingies in your toes, knees , ankles, and elbows. It hurts really bad.

A famous(?) victim of gout was Anthony Wayne, Revolutionary War hero.
He died in 1796. Some may know him as “Mad” Anthony Wayne. Apparently, a bayonet charge in the dark, holding out for reinforcements in the face of a numerically superior enemy, and a firebrand of a personality led to the cool, but simple, nickname. So, the Erie Brewing Company thought it would be nice to name a beer after him - Mad Anthony’s American Pale Ale. They think that “…he might approve of it despite his revolutionary tendencies…”

Well, if “Mad” is actually their way of somehow suggesting “great”, they just as easily could have called it “Moderately Ticked Wayne American Pale Ale.”
My 514th beer was a very average beer, but a nice way to compliment my dinner last night.

The head was, at no point, any thicker than about a quarter of an inch. The overall color was certainly off, too. I was expecting a deep straw yellow or something but it suggested to me a bit of a brownness (I’ll let your imagination run with that one). The lacing on the glass was weak, but evident, while the aroma was a bit of a malty sweetness. Not bad, really. All in all, the malt and hop combo on the palate was a nice balance and the carbonation didn’t blow it. The finish was not bitter, but a biting sort of bitter (but remember, it is an ale, so bitterness is to be expected). In any case, it was a bit much for my tastes. Nothing crazy here, overall. It was, well, average (moderate?). 3 out of 5…maybe.

Tonight’s brew?
Pumpkin Ale(#515) from the Buffalo Bill Brewery in California.

Well, we have to consider that the uric acids that killed Wayne
were properly balanced with water and present in this beer.

Yup, folks, it tasted like piss.

The brewery describes the beer as “A pumpkin pie in a bottle”.
I just don’t think so. Perhaps if the pumpkin was one of those that people carve for Halloween and leave on the front porch until Memorial Day! On the pour, the head lasted approximately 0.0092 seconds; basically, as fast as you can say “fizz-done”. What a letdown. The spices, which I assume were cloves, nutmeg, and cinnamon, were junk. It was more like, perhaps, dirt, dust-bunnies, and bellybutton lint. The finish was not hoppy-bitter, but nasty-bitter. Ugh. Totally gross. 1 out of 5.

After two slugs, I dumped it down the drain. Any that are left over from my party and still in my fridge will suffer the same fate.
If I find bizarre little crystals in my kitchen sink’s plumbing, especially right around the elbows, I know where they came from.

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